CONTROVERSIAL ARTIST TO WED FAMOUS CARTOONIST
by Dumm AP
It was announced this morning that obscure artist Boleander Yergabick will wed the stunning Marlo Meekins in an intimate ceremony next month. Meekins, known as one of the G4 channel’s “most beautiful women of the web”, met Yergabick early last week through an exchange on the Dumm Comics news blog. The two then embarked on a whirlwind romance which soon culminated in their engagement.
As of last week, Yergabick was still married to his previous wife of 30 years, Drusilla Copenhagen Yergabick. She died six days ago under mysterious circumstances, when a refrigerator fell on top of her bed as she slept.
Mr. Yergabick declined to comment. “We are very happy together,” says Meekins.
October 27th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
what the fuck?? they are together???? why would she go out with him!! he’s a horrible man! oh my god, I just clicked the photo… I can’t believe this is true. Yergabick is such a jerk!
October 27th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
This is pathetic. All these years I spent brushing my teeth and keeping my neck unbroken thinking these are turn-offs…. TCHOE!
Ya know, not to take anything away from ol’ Boleander, but if I had known Ms. Meekins ( or is it Mrs. Yergabitch? ) had such low standards, I would’ve made a pass at her long ago. I didn’t know I had a chance. How was I to know she was holding out for a leprosy patient whose face is melting?
What’s the worst thing she could’ve said to me? “Oh gee, Trev, you’re a nice guy, but you look a little too much like a human being”.
Well, I’ll play nice but I’m sure jealous. I’ll invite them over to my house for a barbecue and then coax this hack with a paintbrush and a tumor in his neck to play parlor games. First up, “Sleep Under Trevor’s Fridge”.
Seriously, doesn’t she date only pretty boys? I’ve seen the drawings. Is she going in another direction? Anyone know what’s going on, please email me.
Well, name calling is just bad form. I guess it’s better to wish the bride and groom luck, and hope against hope, that I might one day find someone as beautiful and wonderful as Boleander’s new wife, Ms. Marlo.
:::raises glass:::: Here’s to you both.
Sigh.
- trevor.
October 28th, 2008 at 8:12 am
*sniff*
He’s too good for her…
October 28th, 2008 at 8:14 am
*dies laughing* Wow, those poor woman. And I mean the passed wife AND the bride to be. But, nonetheless, I hope you havea lot of luck (you;re REALLY gonna need it) and are very “happy” together.
October 28th, 2008 at 8:38 am
well geez! Are refrigerator-bed accidents a common thing? If so, I need to do a little re-arrangin’ of my own! But you know, it’s such a hassle to have to get up from your cozy bed whenever you want a frosty soda or a handful of cold deli meat. I mean, I have legs, but really they’re only good for when the batteries in my remote die and I have to kick the general area on the TV where the controls are located.
Oh, and, er, congratulations are in order, I suppose… I hope for your sake, Marlo, that he’s incredibly wealthy. And susceptible to poison. Just hold off on that last bit until after the ceremony, if you can manage. You obviously have come down with a severe case of blind-and-deaf-itis, from which I hope you recover fully. Cheers.
October 28th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
What a convenient and totally coincidental coincidence!
I am sure the ceremony will be lovely! …MAYBE.
October 28th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
I say HOW UTTERLY RIDICULOUS! Such a detestable slubberdegullion as Yergabick engaging in the sacred institution of marriage is wholly disturbing. Were I to meet the couple I would shake my jowels in a manner most unpleasant!
October 28th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Oh myyyyy~
October 28th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
….is this a joke? A mysterious accident where a fridge fell on the bed while his wife was sleeping on it?! And this old fogy is getting married to a hot young woman? This is far more bizarre than even the whole Anna Nicole ordeal.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:22 am
This bastard man yergablick owes me moneys. i install frigerador over bed for 100 dolers and sign paper to make me silense. I never get monies and now I drive my this meekins howse.
If he ask me again i say no unless gives me more monies and then i will only catapult coolers at her red head from inside my tent.
I find you soon yergablick, i have evidense and you will fry.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:24 am
i will only catapult coolers at her red head from inside my tent.
Be careful, Sheldon. In America, we call that ‘murder within tent’.
- trevor.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
@ Trevor
…
thank you for that punny remark
@ this news post
I refuse this existence
REFUSE
October 30th, 2008 at 5:25 am
Goddammit, is all I have to say.
October 30th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Wow… That’s… very interesting… How come when O.J. kills his wife, everyone in the whole universe completely goes nuts, but when Boleander Yergabick does it, he doesn’t even get so much as a dossier from the F.B.I. >: ( I am peeved…
October 31st, 2008 at 11:16 pm
A girl has gotta’ have standards and unfortunately (sniff) I didn’t measure up.
CURSE YOU, BOLEANDER YERGABICK!