I was talking to Ricky about a month or two ago because we were both going through depression. Although his was more severe than mine I felt like we had bonded in our despondency about life and things. I was texting him daily to see how he was doing and he would check in on me as well. He seemed like he was trying really hard to make a positive change in his life and get out of the rut. Telling me about how he was going out to meet new people, doing new things and trying to enjoy life outside of the industry, outside of the internet. We were supposed to hang out and get some dinner but plans had fell through because we were mutually busy. After that I didn’t hear from him as much and assumed he was busy with his new friends and on his path towards happiness and a new life. My own life has flown by fast in the past couple of months, with deadlines and personal projects looming, it felt as though there was never enough time. Before I knew it December rolled around. It had been a while since I had talked to Ricky and then I heard the news. I think a lot of us that knew him blamed ourselves for not doing what we could have or should have done. I felt guilty because I should have made plans to hang out with him. To make sure he knew he wasn’t alone when it came to being a misanthrope, or a strongly opinionated person who didn’t want to compromise himself or his beliefs for the rest of the world. To let him know that having that kind of attitude is admirable and takes courage especially when it sometimes means being ostracized from the bigger group. I might not have been as extreme as him but I always respected and identified with his cause and the repercussions of taking the road less traveled. I know that he was hurting a lot. I was in the same place. I hope he is in a better place now. He was a great artist and talent and an inspiration for many. Not to mention super prolific. Thanks sharing your unfiltered honest self with the rest of the world, Ricky. We’ll miss you.
Archive for December 12th, 2011